


A little peace would be nice

by Cheryl1964



Category: Tut (TV)
Genre: kind of cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4406093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheryl1964/pseuds/Cheryl1964
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pharaoh Tutankhamun just wants a little peace in the afterlife. Unfortunately The History channel and two queens of Egypt have other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A little peace would be nice

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Spike's miniseries Tut and this just popped into my head.

Tutankhamun glared at the Valley of the Kings from the afterlife. He had actually been glad when Ay saw him entombed in the smaller nobleman’s tomb. He had been left in peace for over 2000 years then Howard Carter had come along and stumbled across the entrance; and the pharaoh’s peace had been shattered.

 

General Horemheb had pointed out that ‘King Tut’ had achieved what all pharaoh’s desired; immortality. Lagus had shared his beer and declared it was the fate of a great man to be remembered. In time the furor had if not died down at least leveled off.

 

A delicate snort at his back announced the arrival of another well-known ruler of Egypt; Cleopatra.

 

“You pout as if you were indeed the boy king they label you.” She said. “They speak of you with reverence and awe; even after all these centuries while I am labeled a suicidal whore.”

 

“You did spread your thighs for Caesar.” Tutankhamun said as he turned toward her.

 

“I moved to save Egypt.” The Queen of the Nile snorted.

 

“Of course you did.” Tutankhamun replied then turned from the depressing scene of dozens of men crawling over and within the many tombs. “And only lost it to the Romans, Cilicians, and every other enemy circling like vultures to pick clean her bones.”

 

“And yet Egypt endures. We endure.” Cleopatra said turning to follow the young king. “What is it that truly troubles you?”

 

“It is these fools from The History Channel!” Tutankhamun said. “All I wish is to rest in the afterlife and they will not let me! Now the Smithsonian Channel adds to the uproar. In the last month there have been no less than 10 documentaries on my life, my death, and my so called secrets!”

 

“Our pharaoh is upset because the last documentary claimed him to have breasts and child-bearing hips!” General Horemheb explained.

 

“My lord, you know the truth of your life.” Lagus said. “You also know that stories have always circulated about you among those that do not know you. I once said that you had a face that would make children weep in fear.”

 

“With the frown that graces it now; I would call it truth.” Cleopatra said.

 

“Khaten!” A voice sounded from beyond the door. “Khaten, where are you?”

 

“And this is why I desired rest in the afterlife.” Tutankhamun mumbled before turning towards the door and calling out. “I am right here and it is Khamun woman!”

 

The great Queen Nefertiti swept into the room. “You father named you Tutankhaten and I will refer to you as he named you!”

 

“My Queen!” Horemheb and Lagus said together as they both got to their feet and bowed.

 

“Nefertiti; suppose it would be too much to avoid you again this day.” Cleopatra said with a snort.

 

“Tutanhaten is a true pharaoh of Egypt and beloved heir to my husband Akhenaten. If you wish to avoid me perhaps you should spend more time with your beloved Julius Caesar or Marc Antony and leave the company of real Egyptians.” Nefertiti said snidely as Tutankhamun grabbed another beer.

 

Rolling his eyes at the argument, the young Pharaoh snorted. “If I am such a great pharaoh; why does it seem so hard to rid myself of the two of you?”

 

“I am also a pharaoh!” Cleopatra insisted.

 

“At least Nefertiti has the humility to base her claim to fame on being Queen and wife of a pharaoh.” Another female voice interrupted. “I am the only woman who has earned the right to call herself pharaoh. I, unlike you, have undertaken and completed all of the trials to lay claim to the title; like Tutankhamun.”

 

Tutankhamun smiled and hurried over to greet the new woman. “Hatshepsut! Your company is most welcome.”

 

“That damned celebrity archeologist, Howie? Herman? Whatever name his parents decided to bestow upon him has been researching that totally incompetent Thutmose again.” Hatshepsut grinned. “I deemed it the perfect time to offer you a welcome break from those two harridans.”

 

“Lagos; we will need more beer!” Tutankhamun said as he led Hatshepsut to a comfortable couch and the two settled in to catch up.

 

“You never offer me a seat!” Cleopatra complained.

 

“That would be an indication that your company is not desired.” General Horemheb pointed out.

 

“General!” Nefertiti scolded. “That is no way to speak to a queen!”

 

“She gambled away the future of Egypt on a man already mired in political intrigue.” Lagus spoke. “Every royal palace is cursed with intrigue but at least those surrounding our pharaoh did so with the goal of seeing Egypt prosper! Roman intrigue was spurred by greed.”

 

“The high priest Amun was spurred by greed for power and riches; Lagos.” Tutankhamun reminded his friend.

 

“Yes but where did he intrigues lead him my pharaoh?” General Horemheb pointed out. “To your blade slicing his throat and a hole in the ground so deep not even his gods will find him.”

 

“And you did not plot against him?” Nefertiti pointed out.

 

“The general plotted to destroy the Mitanni; a threat to our kingdom.” Tutankhamun said. “We came to an understanding.”

 

“And saw them wiped from history.” Hatshepsut nodded. “Taking the throne of the pharaoh as a woman was a difficult thing. To take it as a child was even more difficult.”

 

“It took many challenges for us to accept the boy we knew as the man he had become.” The general admitted. “He left our kingdom safer than when power was thrust upon him. He was a king that the army was proud to follow. He was willing to sacrifice what he must to see Egypt prosper.”

 

Lagos elbowed the bigger man. “Time will return her to your side eventually my lord.”

 

“How? My sister would have ensured that she was lost for all time.” Tutankhamun sighed. “Her actions were born of envy that Suhad would give me the heir that she could not. Ay would have made sure that no one knew of her existence. She is lost to me.”

 

“Lagos is right.” Hatshepsut said. “You were lost for thousands of years; Ay deliberately covering up your existence. I was also lost to the sands of time for many centuries. One day Howie or another will stumble across some small thing that will bring her to the mind of the people; and she will stand at your side once again.”

 

Hatshepsut got to her feet. “In the meanwhile; let’s not sit around drinking beer and moping. The last time I visited you claimed that you could beat me in a chariot race and I happen to have a couple just waiting to test your claim outside.”

 

Tutankhamun got to his feet. “Well what are we waiting for? Lagus, General Horemheb; our chariots await! At least this will get my mind off of that damned History Channel!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Howie is actually Dr Zahi Hawass who actually puts a lot of work and effort into spreading understanding of ancient Egypt and promoting respect for Egyptian antiquities. I have nothing but respect for him and his work; but than again, he's not constantly poking around in my tomb and subjecting me to scientific testing.


End file.
